1
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,823
- I want to make you happy, Arthur.
- I have no doubt about that.
2
00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:08,821
See the picture. What is it?
3
00:00:08,845 --> 00:00:12,245
- I don't know. Some baby.
- Yeah. Our baby.
4
00:00:14,271 --> 00:00:16,980
Her name is Ming Mei
and is four days old.
5
00:00:16,981 --> 00:00:19,833
Isn't she beautiful? I must call
to the adoption agency.
6
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:22,705
- and tell her we'll be right over.
to Beijing immediately.
7
00:00:22,706 --> 00:00:24,473
I don't get it.
8
00:00:24,474 --> 00:00:27,167
I've ordered Chinese before,
but never a baby.
9
00:00:29,368 --> 00:00:31,054
We don't.
10
00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:32,393
What? What are you talking about?
11
00:00:32,394 --> 00:00:34,816
I know you don't
part with the apartment.
12
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,311
I should have
got rid of it, but...
13
00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:40,992
We had a deal. I quit,
and I love that job.
14
00:00:40,993 --> 00:00:43,010
You hated it.
You always said that.
15
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,451
But I sacrificed myself
for our future, you didn't.
16
00:00:46,452 --> 00:00:48,453
Okay, Doug,
what do you say?
17
00:00:48,454 --> 00:00:50,850
- That it's over?
- I guess so.
18
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,065
That's a great shot.
Smile.
19
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,241
Ohh.
20
00:01:38,387 --> 00:01:41,278
Oh, arthur, i've never
been so happy in my life.
21
00:01:41,342 --> 00:01:44,201
If our marriage ended
tomorrow, i have no regrets.
22
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,346
Good to know.
23
00:01:46,411 --> 00:01:49,096
Holly, how are you?
24
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,239
Hi, veronica.
Hi, arthur.
25
00:01:50,304 --> 00:01:52,273
Congratulations.
26
00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:53,735
Look at you.
You're pregnant.
27
00:01:53,799 --> 00:01:55,960
No, no. I made
that mistake before.
28
00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:58,216
She has
an eating disorder.
29
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,868
Oh, no, no.
I actually am pregnant.
30
00:01:59,933 --> 00:02:02,014
Oh, wonderful.
So, where's your husband?
31
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,380
Uh, yeah. Where is he?
32
00:02:03,444 --> 00:02:05,764
Uh, he must've gone
to the men's room.
33
00:02:05,828 --> 00:02:08,577
Oh, that's where arthur
proposed to me.
34
00:02:08,641 --> 00:02:10,451
Oh. I've had
that happen, yeah.
35
00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:12,676
Actually, it was more
of a porta-Potty.
36
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:14,201
But anyway,
congratulations.
37
00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:15,600
Thank you, sweetheart.
38
00:02:22,937 --> 00:02:24,128
Carrie, congratulations.
39
00:02:24,193 --> 00:02:25,367
Thank you, lou.
40
00:02:25,432 --> 00:02:26,798
It's a happy day,
isn't it?
41
00:02:26,862 --> 00:02:28,720
Yes, very happy day.
42
00:02:36,544 --> 00:02:37,195
Hello.
43
00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:38,578
Hey.
44
00:02:38,643 --> 00:02:40,277
You're lookin' well.
45
00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:42,565
I, uh, like
the new highlights.
46
00:02:43,775 --> 00:02:44,759
Thank you.
47
00:02:45,924 --> 00:02:47,559
Look, danny,
i know things got ugly
48
00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:49,052
Between us
when i moved out,
49
00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,609
And that-
That was my fault,
50
00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:52,486
And i just wanna say
i'm sorry.
51
00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:54,312
Hey, man, don't worry
about it, buddy, all right?
52
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:57,538
Good. Well, now that, you know,
arthur's marrying my mom,
53
00:02:57,603 --> 00:03:00,493
Um, he's probably gonna
be taking, uh, my bed
54
00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:02,718
Since it's same as hers,
55
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:06,469
So i was wondering
if maybe i could...
56
00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:08,216
Move back...
57
00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:10,935
Who's this?
58
00:03:10,999 --> 00:03:14,016
This is, uh, sandy,
my new girlfriend
59
00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:16,750
And roommate.
60
00:03:16,814 --> 00:03:18,577
Roommate? That's...
61
00:03:18,642 --> 00:03:19,785
Great.
62
00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,390
Yeah, i moved in
last week.
63
00:03:21,454 --> 00:03:22,947
Oh, i had to pack up
some of your stuff
64
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:25,839
To make some room
in the closet, mostly...
65
00:03:25,903 --> 00:03:28,096
Magazines.
66
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,083
Yeah, those are for a research
project about thailand,
67
00:03:32,547 --> 00:03:33,945
With, um...
68
00:03:36,837 --> 00:03:38,617
Hey, spence,
congratulations.
69
00:03:38,682 --> 00:03:39,713
Oh. Thanks, lou.
70
00:03:39,777 --> 00:03:40,938
Happy day, isn't it?
71
00:03:41,002 --> 00:03:42,144
Very happy. Um,
72
00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,719
Would you excuse me
for a second?
73
00:03:51,526 --> 00:03:53,208
Doug?
74
00:03:53,273 --> 00:03:54,305
Spencer!
75
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,499
Hey, buddy,
party's out here.
76
00:03:56,563 --> 00:03:58,850
Let me just get you
set up, man.
77
00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:00,852
I gotta
get you set up.
78
00:04:02,473 --> 00:04:04,092
Ah.
There you go, buddy.
79
00:04:04,157 --> 00:04:06,097
Sit down. Sit down.
Oh, god.
80
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:06,890
Hey.
81
00:04:07,854 --> 00:04:09,872
What-Wh-What are you
doing out here?
82
00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:12,478
Just celebratin'
my freedom.
83
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,799
Carrie and i are
gettin' a divorce.
84
00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:17,038
What?!
85
00:04:17,102 --> 00:04:18,834
Mm-Hmm.
Turns out she kept
86
00:04:18,899 --> 00:04:20,995
Her apartment
in manhattan,
87
00:04:21,059 --> 00:04:24,238
So split 'em up!
88
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:26,462
Doug, i have
a confession to make.
89
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:30,275
I'm the one that called and told
you she was still in the apartment.
90
00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,356
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, i-
91
00:04:31,389 --> 00:04:33,914
I thought i was
in love with her.
92
00:04:33,978 --> 00:04:38,904
But-But i realize now it was because
things weren't going well at home, and...
93
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:43,958
Now that's gone, too.
94
00:04:45,294 --> 00:04:48,407
You are one sweet...
95
00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:51,267
Creepy little dude.
96
00:04:52,631 --> 00:04:55,953
Hey, if you wanna move
in with me, that's cool.
97
00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:57,240
Really?
98
00:04:57,304 --> 00:04:58,654
You mean it?
99
00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:00,958
Hell to the yeah!
100
00:05:01,023 --> 00:05:03,817
I know i mess
with you a lot, but...
101
00:05:03,881 --> 00:05:08,014
The truth is i love you more
than any of my other friends.
102
00:05:08,077 --> 00:05:09,872
Well, thanks, doug.
103
00:05:09,936 --> 00:05:13,367
I- You know, y-You've always
been kind of a hero to me.
104
00:05:13,432 --> 00:05:14,989
I am not a hero!
105
00:05:15,054 --> 00:05:15,846
I'll kill you!
106
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:18,278
Ok, i didn't-
107
00:05:19,341 --> 00:05:21,216
I didn't
mean anything by it.
108
00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:22,884
And now i love you.
109
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:24,441
Come on.
Let's wrestle.
110
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:30,862
Aw, kel, i can't believe
i screwed everything up.
111
00:05:30,926 --> 00:05:34,738
One moment of weakness, and i
lost my husband, my ming mel.
112
00:05:36,932 --> 00:05:37,949
He really
won't forgive you?
113
00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:39,602
No, and who can
blame him?
114
00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,222
I mean,
i didn't show him
115
00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:42,335
The commitment
he deserves,
116
00:05:42,398 --> 00:05:43,700
And that is just
unforgivable.
117
00:05:44,765 --> 00:05:47,402
Yeah, well, he's let you down
lots of times.
118
00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:48,689
Yeah, but nothing
like this.
119
00:05:48,754 --> 00:05:50,532
What about when he
faked a heart attack
120
00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:53,312
Because he forgot
your boss' name?
121
00:05:54,998 --> 00:05:56,396
That wasn't a big deal.
122
00:05:56,460 --> 00:06:00,463
What about when he used your tax
refund to buy an ice-Cream truck?
123
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,070
Yeah, but that
was my fault.
124
00:06:04,135 --> 00:06:06,613
I shouldn't have left
the check lying around.
125
00:06:06,677 --> 00:06:10,426
What about when you had to
cancel your birthday trip to paris
126
00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:14,526
Because he was a semifinalist
in a bladder bust contest?
127
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,069
Yeah, that was
a kick in the chiclets.
128
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:19,087
Folks, we have a very
special treat for you tonight.
129
00:06:19,151 --> 00:06:22,059
Our beautiful bride is gonna sing
one of her hit records for us.
130
00:06:22,123 --> 00:06:23,440
So please welcome
to the stage
131
00:06:23,457 --> 00:06:25,664
The very lovely and talented
Ava st. Clair.
132
00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:30,098
I- I'm not Ava st. Clair.
133
00:06:30,162 --> 00:06:32,101
I'm not cliff robertson,
but that didn't stop me
134
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:34,167
From signing my meals
to his hotel room.
135
00:06:34,232 --> 00:06:35,406
Now get up there.
136
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,076
So would you care
for garden or caesar?
137
00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:40,347
Uh, garden salad,
please.
138
00:06:40,412 --> 00:06:43,558
And would you know if
there's anyone sitting there?
139
00:06:44,622 --> 00:06:46,464
Yeah, my husband.
Heh heh.
140
00:06:46,528 --> 00:06:49,007
I mean, of course
i have a husband.
141
00:06:49,071 --> 00:06:49,960
Look at me.
142
00:06:51,613 --> 00:06:55,601
Of course. Do you know if he
would like garden or caesar?
143
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,699
Caesar.
144
00:06:58,964 --> 00:07:01,362
Holly, it's so good
to see you.
145
00:07:01,426 --> 00:07:02,633
Hi, lou.
146
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:03,746
Such a happy day.
147
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:05,303
Oh, god.
148
00:07:16,441 --> 00:07:19,238
This is pornographic.
149
00:07:29,473 --> 00:07:31,046
Aah!
150
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,506
Ohh! Aah!
151
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:35,495
That-That's 11-4, me.
152
00:07:35,559 --> 00:07:37,084
Let's go.
Hands and knees.
153
00:07:37,147 --> 00:07:39,307
No, i'm not wrestling
with you anymore.
154
00:07:39,372 --> 00:07:41,215
You don't respect
my safe word.
155
00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:43,726
Such a baby.
156
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:46,650
Hey, holly.
I'm drunk. Are you?
157
00:07:46,714 --> 00:07:47,381
No.
158
00:07:47,446 --> 00:07:50,670
Well, a little.
159
00:07:50,734 --> 00:07:52,148
Hey, hol.
How's it goin'?
160
00:07:52,212 --> 00:07:53,261
Great. Great.
161
00:07:53,325 --> 00:07:54,452
My husband
just left me,
162
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:57,789
And i'm about to have a baby
with no job and no money,
163
00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,346
But other than that,
real good.
164
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:00,840
I'm splittin' up
with carrie.
165
00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:02,619
You wanna move in
with me?
166
00:08:02,684 --> 00:08:06,321
Really?
Oh, my god. Yes. Yes.
167
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:09,071
No, no. You-Wait. You said
i could move in with you.
168
00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,262
Did i? You're out.
Holly's in.
169
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:15,942
Doug, i-I can't believe how
kind and generous you're being.
170
00:08:16,006 --> 00:08:18,770
I mean, honestly, i didn't even
think you liked me that much.
171
00:08:18,835 --> 00:08:22,806
No. Truth is, i mean, i love you
more than any of my other friends.
172
00:08:22,871 --> 00:08:24,746
Oh, my god.
173
00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:26,334
Doug, i'm-Thank you.
174
00:08:26,398 --> 00:08:28,574
I really needed to hear
something like that right now.
175
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:29,512
Oh, no problem.
176
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,403
Come on.
Let's wrestle.
177
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,781
Thank you very much.
178
00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:36,973
Now if i could have your
attention, it's time for the toast.
179
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,008
Toasting our groom,
arthur spooner,
180
00:08:39,072 --> 00:08:42,042
Is his best man and
son-In-Law, doug heffernan.
181
00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:55,947
Holly, have you
seen douglas?
182
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:58,458
He fell asleep
when we were wrestling.
183
00:09:00,143 --> 00:09:02,335
Well, at least you weren't
under him when it happened.
184
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,131
That was 6 of the most
terrifying hours of my life.
185
00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:12,479
Spence, congratulations.
You're my new best man.
186
00:09:12,544 --> 00:09:15,117
Now get up there
and toast me, kid.
187
00:09:15,782 --> 00:09:17,243
I don't feel like it,
arthur.
188
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,212
I'm having
a very rough night.
189
00:09:19,277 --> 00:09:21,596
I'm your father.
I command you to toast me.
190
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:26,570
I'll toast who i want
when i want.
191
00:09:26,635 --> 00:09:28,572
You got that, dad?
192
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,765
This isn't over.
193
00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:35,229
Hey, uh, heh.
194
00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:38,186
Like the way you stood up to him there.
195
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,933
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
196
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,905
You know, kind of
reminded me of the way
197
00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:44,447
You stood up to our landlord
about that roach problem.
198
00:09:44,512 --> 00:09:48,164
Oh. Well, the lease clearly states
when there's more than a thousand,
199
00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:49,849
It's his responsibility.
200
00:09:50,813 --> 00:09:52,416
You see, i wouldn't
have known that.
201
00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:55,182
Hey, did you see america's
next top model this week?
202
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,883
Yes! Can you believe it
came down to marquesa and lisi?
203
00:09:57,948 --> 00:10:01,442
I know! I mean, it's so obvious
who's gonna win this thing.
204
00:10:01,506 --> 00:10:02,587
Duh. Marquesa.
Marquesa.
205
00:10:02,651 --> 00:10:04,462
Ha ha ha ha ha!
206
00:10:04,527 --> 00:10:05,844
Marquesa. Eww.
207
00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:08,609
Lisi's way better
for couture.
208
00:10:12,773 --> 00:10:15,076
Come on, danny. Let's
go home. I'm bored.
209
00:10:15,141 --> 00:10:18,190
All right. Why don't you,
uh, go grab your jacket?
210
00:10:18,255 --> 00:10:20,097
I'll be right with you.
Ok.
211
00:10:23,147 --> 00:10:24,990
Sorry about the whole
marquesa thing.
212
00:10:25,054 --> 00:10:26,262
It's cool.
It's cool.
213
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:29,852
Well, i guess she's
waitin' for me.
214
00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:30,965
Better take off.
215
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,935
Yeah. See you
at the allergist's.
216
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,114
I don't even
know you that well.
217
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,894
I'm a crusty curmudgeon
with a heart of gold.
218
00:10:39,959 --> 00:10:40,943
Now go!
219
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:51,214
Hi. Uh, i'll never forget
the first time i met arthur.
220
00:10:51,279 --> 00:10:54,091
I was, uh, sitting in the
heffernan living room, watching tv.
221
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,032
Uh, arthur came in,
and when he saw me,
222
00:10:58,097 --> 00:11:02,259
He begged me not to hurt him,
then ran off to call the police.
223
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:04,738
Ha ha ha ha ha!
224
00:11:04,802 --> 00:11:06,232
Hoo!
225
00:11:06,296 --> 00:11:08,583
And, hello, remember
that time your appendix burst
226
00:11:08,647 --> 00:11:10,490
And he wouldn't
leave work early?
227
00:11:10,554 --> 00:11:13,763
He did leave work early
to go to the rodeo.
228
00:11:15,449 --> 00:11:16,846
That's it.
229
00:11:16,911 --> 00:11:18,101
I just-I think
you'll feel better
230
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:20,103
If you have a little
something to eat.
231
00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:21,979
I'll get you
my husband's prime rib.
232
00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:23,249
Oh. Thank you, spence.
233
00:11:26,911 --> 00:11:30,184
You know, you really
had me goin' out there, doug.
234
00:11:30,249 --> 00:11:31,407
"I took a leap of faith
for you.
235
00:11:31,472 --> 00:11:32,964
You didn't take
a leap of faith for me."
236
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,521
Do you know how many times
in our marriage
237
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:36,651
You have screwed me over
to do what you wanted to do?
238
00:11:36,716 --> 00:11:39,177
Aw, here we go
with the rodeo again.
239
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,783
It comes to town
once a year!
240
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:44,183
It wasn't just that, doug.
It was many other things,
241
00:11:44,247 --> 00:11:45,708
And i forgave you
for everything,
242
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:48,187
So you damn well better
forgive me for this.
243
00:11:48,251 --> 00:11:50,984
You don't tell me what i
better damn well better do.
244
00:11:51,848 --> 00:11:53,087
Ok, you know what?
245
00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:55,232
Do whatever you wanna do,
but let me tell you something.
246
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:56,853
I love this baby,
and i want her,
247
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,600
And i am gonna get her
for myself.
248
00:11:58,664 --> 00:12:01,000
Oh, no. No, no, no, 'cause
i wanted a baby first, ok?
249
00:12:01,064 --> 00:12:03,674
So if anybody's gonna get
the baby, it's gonna be me.
250
00:12:04,238 --> 00:12:05,302
Oh, you really
think so, butch?
251
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:07,749
Well, i'm on my way to china
right now to get her.
252
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:10,180
Yeah? Not if i
get there first.
253
00:12:12,580 --> 00:12:14,947
I'm gonna get there first.
254
00:12:15,012 --> 00:12:16,219
Whoa.
255
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:30,665
And then there was the time
arthur thought i was eddie murphy.
256
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:31,396
Hey, we gotta go.
257
00:12:31,541 --> 00:12:32,827
Go. Go where?
258
00:12:32,891 --> 00:12:34,241
To china to get
my baby. Come on.
259
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:35,861
Actually, you can just
drop me at the airport
260
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:36,974
If you don't wanna
come with.
261
00:12:37,039 --> 00:12:38,340
Uh, sure.
262
00:12:38,405 --> 00:12:40,215
Let's all toast
arthur spooner, a great guy
263
00:12:40,279 --> 00:12:42,249
Who's a little racist.
264
00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:46,841
Doug, should i move in after
you get back from china or-
265
00:12:46,906 --> 00:12:49,781
Hey, holly! Glad to see
you could make it.
266
00:12:51,974 --> 00:12:54,898
Well, i guess i'm
back out on the street.
267
00:12:54,962 --> 00:12:58,251
Well, seeing as you and i
are in the same situation,
268
00:12:58,315 --> 00:13:00,379
Do you wanna
get a place together?
269
00:13:00,444 --> 00:13:02,128
Really?
You mean it?
270
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:05,656
Oh, of course. I-I would
like nothing better than...
271
00:13:08,325 --> 00:13:09,484
You forget something?
272
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:10,818
Yeah.
273
00:13:10,882 --> 00:13:13,678
I forgot my roommate.
274
00:13:16,064 --> 00:13:18,128
W- Wait. You and i
were gonna-
275
00:13:18,192 --> 00:13:20,606
Yeah, that's not
gonna work out.
276
00:13:34,357 --> 00:13:37,041
Well, you know, if things
work out between us,
277
00:13:37,106 --> 00:13:38,440
You'll have to convert.
278
00:13:38,505 --> 00:13:41,030
Of course i will.
279
00:13:41,093 --> 00:13:42,825
To what?
280
00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,235
I'll just get
my passport,
281
00:13:53,297 --> 00:13:55,903
And then we'll
get the hell out of here.
282
00:13:55,967 --> 00:13:57,254
Doug, you've never
been out of america.
283
00:13:57,318 --> 00:13:58,016
Why do you even
have a passport?
284
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,893
I heard they still
had the mcrib in canada.
285
00:14:02,436 --> 00:14:05,469
Oh, hey. Off to china.
Don't wait up.
286
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:06,676
Hey! Did you take
my passport?
287
00:14:06,741 --> 00:14:08,567
Oh, no, babe,
it's still here...
288
00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:10,284
Somewhere.
289
00:14:23,855 --> 00:14:25,475
Hello.
290
00:14:26,588 --> 00:14:28,461
You found it?
291
00:14:28,526 --> 00:14:32,513
Gotta admit the vegetable
crisper was an inspired choice.
292
00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:34,913
But you've never gone in
that drawer your whole life.
293
00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:36,564
You don't even know
it exists.
294
00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:39,789
But deacon does.
295
00:14:39,854 --> 00:14:41,792
His b.L.T.
Was delicious,
296
00:14:41,857 --> 00:14:44,017
As is my revenge.
297
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,028
Doug.
Hmm?
298
00:15:04,793 --> 00:15:05,996
Doug.
299
00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:11,178
Oh, god.
300
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:12,577
What?
301
00:15:12,641 --> 00:15:13,816
So what's
our endgame here?
302
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:16,168
What are we gonna do
when we land?
303
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:19,886
We gonna race through the streets
of beijing to the adoption agency?
304
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:22,444
I don't know.
305
00:15:22,508 --> 00:15:25,366
Because if we have to
take rickshaws, you'll lose.
306
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:30,533
Not if it's downhill.
307
00:15:34,235 --> 00:15:35,776
What happened here?
308
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,858
I don't know.
309
00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:41,321
You know, when my, uh...
310
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:44,182
When my mom died
when i was a kid,
311
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:50,204
It felt like i was nothing,
you know, like i had no life.
312
00:15:50,269 --> 00:15:54,288
My dad did his best
to be a good parent, but...
313
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:56,258
Who we kiddin'?
314
00:15:56,322 --> 00:16:00,421
Anyway, on-On sundays,
he used to take me
315
00:16:00,485 --> 00:16:02,486
To this park
on vernon boulevard,
316
00:16:02,551 --> 00:16:04,489
Right on the east river,
317
00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:07,031
Where you could look across
and see manhattan.
318
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,814
And while he was, uh, off
319
00:16:10,878 --> 00:16:14,023
Handing out leaflets
or chasing squirrels,
320
00:16:14,087 --> 00:16:16,249
I would just stand
at the railing,
321
00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:19,490
And i would look at the
beautiful apartment buildings
322
00:16:19,553 --> 00:16:23,525
Across the river, and i-
I would imagine this great life
323
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:27,656
That i might have someday actually
living in one of them, you know,
324
00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:31,247
With a great job as a fashion
designer for sergio valente
325
00:16:31,312 --> 00:16:35,412
Or goin' to studio 54
every night.
326
00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:38,554
God, i'm old.
327
00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:43,318
But then i grew up,
and reality set in,
328
00:16:43,382 --> 00:16:45,892
And the dream got put away.
329
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:48,339
And then i met you,
330
00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:50,929
And i was-
331
00:16:50,994 --> 00:16:54,775
I was happy in a whole...
332
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:58,190
New way i just-
I never imagined.
333
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:03,052
I mean, i was...
334
00:17:05,117 --> 00:17:09,755
In that apartment, I mean, i guess
just dreams stick with you, because...
335
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:15,729
I just-I felt
like carrie again, you know,
336
00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:21,705
little carrie finally having the
thing she wanted back then, and...
337
00:17:21,769 --> 00:17:25,042
At the moment i should
have given it up, i-
338
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,579
I couldn't, you know,
because it was like...
339
00:17:28,644 --> 00:17:30,804
I was taking something
away from her.
340
00:17:30,869 --> 00:17:33,505
You know, does that
make any sense, doug?
341
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:34,380
Yeah.
342
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:41,285
It's funny
to hear you say that,
343
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:43,256
'Cause all these years,
344
00:17:43,319 --> 00:17:46,497
Even when things
were good with us,
345
00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:49,433
I just still sensed
there was something...
346
00:17:49,798 --> 00:17:52,116
Pulling you
away from me,
347
00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:55,294
You know, like this
little voice inside saying,
348
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,201
"Wanna be in manhattan.
349
00:17:57,267 --> 00:18:00,157
I wanna be
in manhattan."
350
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:02,699
Plus, you said it
out loud a lot.
351
00:18:05,259 --> 00:18:06,957
I di-I did.
352
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:09,628
I did hear that voice
every day.
353
00:18:09,692 --> 00:18:12,885
And now i just hear her,
her voice saying...
354
00:18:15,381 --> 00:18:17,829
Whatever chinese babies
say, and-
355
00:18:22,681 --> 00:18:24,842
And I want her.
356
00:18:24,907 --> 00:18:28,116
And i-I want you.
357
00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:32,580
And i-I wish that we could just
put this all behind us, you know,
358
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:35,377
And just be a family.
359
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:40,224
I love you, Carrie.
360
00:18:40,289 --> 00:18:42,353
I love you, too.
361
00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:48,494
Oh, god.
362
00:18:48,558 --> 00:18:51,353
No, he's gotta get up.
He's gotta get up.
363
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,426
Hi, Ming Mei.
364
00:19:00,491 --> 00:19:03,398
Ming Mei Heffernan.
365
00:19:03,462 --> 00:19:04,604
You know what?
366
00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:06,893
It works.
367
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:08,627
Come on, honey.
We gotta go to the airport.
368
00:19:08,691 --> 00:19:09,992
Just a second.
369
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,995
Mommy and I are gonna
take you back home to queens.
370
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,934
You're gonna love queens.
371
00:19:14,999 --> 00:19:16,745
Queens has got
the new york mets.
372
00:19:16,809 --> 00:19:17,906
It's got-
373
00:19:18,019 --> 00:19:20,273
Well, not a lot else,
actually.
374
00:19:20,337 --> 00:19:23,578
Used to have pastrami king,
but they shut that down.
375
00:19:23,643 --> 00:19:25,103
Now it's a bookstore.
376
00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:28,573
Tell you, the world
is a crazy place.
377
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,912
Ooh. She smiled at me.
378
00:19:32,976 --> 00:19:34,564
Either that,
or she's poopin'.
379
00:19:34,627 --> 00:19:37,138
Or maybe both.
Maybe she just really enjoys-
380
00:19:37,203 --> 00:19:38,632
I'm pregnant.
381
00:19:39,397 --> 00:19:41,859
Pooping.
382
00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:42,907
What?
383
00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:45,211
Yeah. I haven't felt
well since we landed,
384
00:19:45,276 --> 00:19:47,055
And i bought
a pregnancy test
385
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,216
In the drug store
in the lobby,
386
00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:51,377
And we're gonna
have a baby.
387
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,071
Well, what do we do
with this one?
388
00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:58,012
I don't know.
389
00:19:58,076 --> 00:20:00,505
I think i'm having
an anxiety attack.
390
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:02,206
C- Calm down.
A- Are you sure?
391
00:20:02,271 --> 00:20:04,304
Yes, i am sure.
392
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:05,734
I mean, look.
393
00:20:05,798 --> 00:20:09,228
Wh-What means pregnant,
the monkey or the dragon?
394
00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:10,326
That's just decorative.
395
00:20:10,391 --> 00:20:12,328
Look, it came out blue.
That means i'm pregnant.
396
00:20:12,393 --> 00:20:14,234
It must have happened
in the apartment that night.
397
00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:15,807
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
398
00:20:15,872 --> 00:20:17,381
I thought the doctor said
you couldn't get pregnant.
399
00:20:17,446 --> 00:20:19,732
No, she said we probably
couldn't. It happens all the time.
400
00:20:19,797 --> 00:20:22,053
When couples don't think they can
get pregnant, they stop trying,
401
00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,023
And then they adopt a baby and
- Oh, god.
402
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:25,501
Carrie, you have
to calm down.
403
00:20:25,566 --> 00:20:27,026
I can't calm down, doug.
404
00:20:27,091 --> 00:20:28,758
Yesterday i had
no husband, no baby,
405
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:32,475
And today i have a husband
and 2 babies, and i'm in china.
406
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,701
That's a lot of change
for one day.
407
00:20:35,465 --> 00:20:36,958
What are we gonna do?
408
00:20:37,723 --> 00:20:39,772
I- I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
409
00:20:39,836 --> 00:20:41,408
We're gonna
fly home today,
410
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:44,269
And we're gonna start
our new life as parents
411
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:47,955
Of 2 beautiful,
wonderful children...
412
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,536
With very
different-Shaped eyes.
413
00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:54,776
Everything's
gonna be fine.
414
00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:56,907
T- Trust me.
415
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:59,163
Everything's
gonna be fine.
416
00:21:06,049 --> 00:21:06,969
Ming Mei.
Ming Mei.
417
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:08,114
It's ok.
Ohh.
418
00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:09,354
It's all right, baby.
Calm down.
419
00:21:09,418 --> 00:21:10,705
It's all right, baby.
420
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:11,848
All right.
421
00:21:11,913 --> 00:21:13,151
No, i know-
422
00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:14,836
There you go.
Good girl.
423
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:18,600
It didn't work out.